OCTOBER RECAP

Swift Wedding, AI Bubble, and Ball Rooms

Nov 1 • 

Graeme

5

2

October 2025

Local Stories

Trending in Florida: Fingernails, Polio, Toddlers v Police

Oct 21 • 

Graeme

 and 

halley

3

1

SEPTEMBER RECAP

Pumpkin Spice, Butt Lifts, TikTok, and Autism

Oct 1 • 

Graeme

3

3

September 2025

AUGUST RECAP

Mandatory Parades, War on History, and Iced Matcha

Sep 1 • 

Graeme

5

2

August 2025

New App Brings Mass Shootings To The Gig Economy

The free market continues to meet demand.

Aug 14 • 

Graeme

Man Spends $150 To Be Sad Downtown

Tired of feeling sad at home, Hunter Parsons decides to do it at a bar.

Aug 12 • 

Graeme

3

2

CUTE: Third Grader Helps Dad Reach ICE Detention Quota By Kidnapping Classmate

A heartwarming story has gone viral out of San Antonio, Texas, after 8 year old Gavin Boyd kidnapped his Panamanian-American classmate...

Aug 6 • 

Graeme

2

July 2025

Detective Stumped As To Which Asshole Keeps Taking All The Good Pens Home

The latest news in the riveting line of office detective work.

Jul 24 • 

Graeme

4

Trump Diagnosed With Chronic Virtue Insufficiency

A disease in which morals have difficulty developing and moving throughout the body—often getting caught up in the legs.

Jul 18 • 

Graeme

Opinion: Donald Trump is Ruining Pancakes For Everyone

Reliable access to the world’s finest maple syrup is not something to muck around with.

Jul 15 • 

Graeme

4

Vance Champions Traditional Family Values By Killing His Father and Marrying His Mother

And Why You Should Too

Jul 5 • 

halley

1

1

Opinion: Republicans Need to Stop Giving Badass Names to Horrible Things

It’s getting confusing for me.

Jul 2 • 

Jackson Ring

3