Trump Diagnosed With Chronic Virtue Insufficiency
A disease in which morals have difficulty developing and moving throughout the body—often getting caught up in the legs.
Trump Diagnosed With Chronic Virtue Insufficiency
President Trump has been diagnosed with Chronic Virtue Insufficiency, a disease in which morals have difficulty developing and moving throughout the body—often getting caught up in the legs.
Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt has described his condition as “benign” and “common.” Much of Trump’s base also suffers from the condition, for instance. However later stages of the disease can become dangerous, and the White House may be downplaying the severity of Trump’s specific case. President Trump has recently been photographed with swollen ankles and legs, as well as makeup covering discolored skin. These symptoms suggest the President may have already entered stage 3 or 4 of the disease.
The big risk with late stage Chronic Virtue Insufficiency (CVI) is clotting. This risk is exacerbated by Trump’s age. Younger patients have an easier time burning off unused empathy because their metabolism is stronger, but at eighty years old it is much more likely that discarded virtues pool and clot.
Medical experts around the country are validating the claims. “Things are beginning to make sense again.” One expert wrote on X. “My colleagues and I have been dumbfounded by the President’s irreverence for the wave of death he has created. Between the USAID cuts, the foreign missile strikes, the financing of Israel’s regional genocide, and the careless foreign and domestic detention of unconvicted abductees, everyone has been asking where the President’s morals are. Now we know that they are simply all clumped up in his legs.”
CVI can also be tied to a weak or shallow heart. It is widely believed that the historical figure, The Grinch, suffered from CVI prior to undergoing an experimental medical procedure involving a deep comprehension of the true meaning of Christmas. The White House is looking into this as a potential option for the President.
Out of an abundance of caution White House physicians also tested Vice President JD Vance, but said they have found no signs of CVI. Expectedly, however, they confirmed that the Vice President suffers from a complete absence of soul or spine.