Opinion: Donald Trump is Ruining Pancakes For Everyone
Reliable access to the world’s finest maple syrup is not something to muck around with.
Opinion: Donald Trump is Ruining Pancakes For Everyone
By Mimi St John Sinclaire, 83.
I could look pass the racism, 25 sexual assault allegations, -tempted coup, blatant disregard for the fifth mendment, direct defiance of court orders, scams conducted outta office, scams conducted in office, etcetera etcetera. Fact, I did overlook a great many these things when I voted for him in November. But Mr. Trump’s latest pronouncement is a bridge too far. 35% tariffs on Canada, he says. That orange fool is gonna ruin pancakes for everyone. Tariff the whole rest of the world for all I care! He started to. Didn’t bother me none. But leave Canada out of it. Reliable access to the world’s finest maple syrup is not something to muck around with. I don’t want to say the President has been compromised or tempted by Satan himself just yet but at some point you’ve got to stop and ask:
What in the high heavens?
A 35% surcharge passed onto consumers just looking for a decent stack of flapjacks? That’s devil talk. If this goes through I declare wholeheartedly that Mr. Trump will have lost my third term vote. I don’t care what Pastor Greggory has to say about it. He can go on voting for this wickedness and eat his dry doggone breakfast without me.
I pray to Jesus I’ll still be seeing my family in this dystopia. The grandkids stay with me every weekend but they ain’t gonna wanna come round no more if Meemaw’s perfectly light golden brown pancakes are served up plain as day. I sure as heck know they don’t show up for my good looks or southern charm. I’m an ugly bitch to be perfectly honest with you. And don’t you give no lip down in the comments talking bout using honey or PB or preserves on my pancakes. They ain’t proper toppings. Those toppings are queer as the LBGQ agenda. Whip cream and butter ain’t bad but whip cream and butter oughta go right on top the maple syrup. There’s no need to go messing with what works. Pure Canadian maple syrup works. It works like a dang charm. If Canada stops sending it down here or if I’m forced to pay exorbitant prices, so help me Jesus I’m going to do something drastic. I can feel the Lord working through me and He is P.O.ed. He’s speaking of the Great Flood and the biblical genocides again. Things He ain’t done in a long time. I hope you very well consider backtracking your position prior to August 1st, Mr. Trump. We’ve been trading with Canada since long before I popped out my ma. Back when her pussy was still wet and pink. Now she’s dead as a doorknob and my own pussy is dry as our pancakes gonna be. Queefing up dust mites and the like. Pardon my French but I am worked the hay up. Don’t muck around with a good thing. Praise Jesus.