Democrats Scoop Out Eyeballs And Plow Forward On New Podcast
Following Zohran Mamdani’s decisive victory in NYC, Democratic Leaders look for creative ways to focus on the important things.
Democrats Scoop Out Eyeballs And Plow Forward On New Podcast
Following democratic-socialist underdog Zohran Mamdani’s decisive victory in New York City’s Democratic mayoral primary, established Democrats have received a lot of noise about where to take the party next. In order to remain focused, party leaders like Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries have scooped out their eyeballs, burnt off their fingertips and drilled two-inch flat head screws into their eardrums. They are now plowing ahead on production of their new podcast, Party Over Politics, a show focused on breaking through the dichotomy of good versus evil in favor of very little at all. Democratic staffers have stated that by stripping themselves of a majority of senses, party leaders can finally avoid the petulant distractions hurled at them by their voting base. Free from their constituents, Democrats can continue their vital mission to recapture young men by implementing more casual misogyny into their messaging. “This is best done through a podcast nobody will know about or listen to.” Hakeem Jeffries told reporters loudly and in no particular direction.